A tight crushhy fit

Wetsuits are intended to be tight. Hard to get on, particularly if wet from the previous swim.

Regular wet suit swimmers will have a routine. Mine is to wash them in the shower with me then leave them hanging off the shower door over the bath until dry the next day. There will be other techniques.

There are a variety of techniques for getting the wet suit on. There are solo techniques and team efforts. My favourite technique is to grab the cord attached to the zip slider, which at its lowest is at about 4th or 5th lumbar vertebra level. The cord is about 9 inches long. Having grabbed it it has to be brought round and up so it can be pulled upwards from the nape of the neck. Job done. It really helps to bring the shoulder blades together at the time of the pull.. each time I achieve this without tearing the wet suit I breath easy with relief.

The team techniques include the same thing but a helper pulling the cord, allowing me the swimmer to concentrate on shoulder blade reversing.

This week I was shown the “crush technique”. It can probably work with two, but there were three on this occasion. One did the cord thing round the back. I started withdrawing the shoulder blades, then the other walked round my front, put her arms around me, face alongside and proceeded to give me a massive hug, hands clasped behind my back. I could feel my thorax being compressed, my rear aid started to raise my zip, and I… started laughing… well giggling actually. It was really really nice. Nothing sexual but really really  nice. A sort of deep giggling.

My plan, much to my friends annoyance doubtless, is to  pretend I can’t do my wetsuit up forever more.